Health Education: staging

Your Reflection

My personal life experience, my educational background and my career have given me significant insight into the interactions of people. I know that over the years I have worked on my own presentation and how I react in all the spheres that one might have personal exchanges. If you have known me for any length of time, you know that I am most fond of saying that the way people treat you is almost always – 99% of the time, about them and not you. This morning as I was deep in thought (on a run) I realized that our actions can also set the stage for how the other(s) will respond. I think we all know that on a surface level, but I am always interested in the deeper processes. Let me start from the other side, the messages we project about ourselves, not the behaviors or responses we hope to generate in a deliberate sense but the more subtle nuances of our body language. I was having dinner with a friend recently and she noted how she first perceived me. Basically she described seeing a person that was very closed off (arms crossed over my chest) and someone nearly tremulous with nervous energy. I seemed bored or anxious to be somewhere else. WOW. That is what my outside was saying and not at all what my insides were feeling. Instead, I was physically uncomfortable – i.e. cold and without a sweater, and I was fearful. The people around us are not going to respond to what we are thinking or feeling, but what we are showing. It is an important take home message. I take this kind of feedback seriously and try to change myself accordingly. I am going to have similarly challenging new situations in my future and in preparation I am going to practice this little mantra, “check yourself.” Is my body projecting the message I want to convey? I may still be scared or uncertain and that is okay – at the same time it is probably NOT what I want to share, instead I can project confidence. It isn’t that hard really and of course, if I am cold, I can acknowledge that. On this same subject of people responding to your outsides, it is also true that if you are nice to people, 99% of the time, they will be nice back. I am going to try this the next time I have a big transitional challenge – which you will learn soon is not that far into the future. And at that time, I am going to approach people as if our interactions WILL be positive, balanced, respectful etc. My hypothesis is that I will create a positive environment because the others will be reacting to this energy, much the way people have reacted to my “fear” or “intensity”. There are very few people who just interact due to having agendas and even fewer who put a lot of thought into their projections as I am today, so I can be reasonably comfortable that my expectations will pan out. Which reminds me of another thing I like to say – I own my expectations and no one has to meet them, it is just nice when they do! Afterthought: I wrote this before I was ready to post and set it aside for awhile. I had forgotten that I had in some aspect already proven my theory. For the last two years, one of my professional responsibilities has been teaching an hour long class that meets for 4 weeks to a group of people who are compelled to take the class for a work place benefit, but who are angry about this requirement. (I have probably completed 50 series of classes) I have turned that class into something that the “students” do not mind attending and even enjoy at times. I framed it – I chose to go in positive and they replied in kind. I highly recommend this approach to life! (Of course, we all get to have our moments of foot stumping and pouting, but seriously – you should do that alone or in the company of those who love love love you dearly!)

Your Reflection

My personal life experience, my educational background and my career have given me significant insight into the interactions of people. I k...

5:44 PM

Staging

I am once again about to travel. This trip is going to be very quick and I will actually have more time to blog both Friday and Saturday than I feel I have right now. [I will be on a three hour plane ride both days!] So when I travel, as you already know, I pack my lunch box more seriously then I do my suitcase and when staying in a hotel I find out about the fitness opportunities and request a room with a refrigerator and microwave. It is easier for me to travel and stay at hotels then to stay with family, but tomorrow night I will be with family. (because as a guest it is hard to make special requests but as a paying customer... well , that is different) What I do to get ready for a trip is what one of my quit smoking clients recently referred to as "staging". She has also been recovering from polysubstance dependence and learned the term there. But she uses the staging to help her to feel more comfortable with being a dinner guest also. She will call the hostess and gently remind her that she is a vegetarian and ask if she may bring a dish to share or inquire as to what the menu may be. It could sound rude, but the other way to look at it is being"thoughtful" . My client does not eat meat, what if they served her a nice juicy steak. An embarrassing moment would occur! She has also used this technique to help her avoid some triggers that might increase the chance of a smoking relapse. She recently called ahead and asked if the couple still allowed smoking in their house. [very few people do you know] But she said that she had recently quit smoking and it was hard for her sometimes and that is why she was asking. [instead of sounding like a reformed and hostile ex smoker!] In fact, the hostess told her that since so many of their friends HAD quit smoking, they had decided to only let people smoke in the garage... So staging. Make the event as "safe" as you can, set the stage for your success, and then be prepared for things that may work against you. Tomorrow I am going to be in good hands. I am staying with my niece who has already asked me what I would like for breakfast and called to tell me that she would have a salad for me at her party and what would I like on it (as opposed to eating the baked ziti OR BBQ pork). Incredible and thoughtful young woman! I told her it was really okay, that I always had my lunch box and I would not go hungry. She probably remembers our last big family party when my Mom commandeered the wait staff and demanded I be brought a salad because I did not eat whatever it was they served. It was embarrassing, but MAN the salad was indeed beautiful. Anyways, my niece said to me, no bother, no worries, it is what families do for each other. Ah but that is not always true. Some people in my family would rather I just get over myself and eat what every body else is eating. SO, staging...........because in the end - you are the only one that lives in your skin and you have to be loyal to what makes that work for you.

Staging

I am once again about to travel. This trip is going to be very quick and I will actually have more time to blog both Friday and Saturday tha...

4:56 PM

Health Education

Your Reflection

Staging

Popular Posts

Blog Archive